My obituary 1/10/2142
Peter Hirst was a much loved friend of the stars. Magician, novelist, comedian and a thoroughbread tea drinker. Born 10/08/83, the racer of olympic atheletes, beater of drums and crime fighter extrordinaire has sadly passed away. A national day of mourning was declared by King Brooklyn Beckham Jnr and everyone under 25 received a Playstation 51 as per Peter’s last will and testament.
After winning the eurovision song contest in 2008 Peter went on to achieve tremendous success topping the charts for a record 112 weeks (which still stands today) with his delightful ballad ‘My little pastie’.
He next developed low cost moon shuttle service, ‘Moon me’ and was awarded an OBE for his exploits in developing the ‘Van-to-path Generator’ which transformed retired cars and vans into a biodegradable tarmac-like road surface.
Obviously best known for his work with renewable energy and the now infamous ‘Hirstoplant’ which at it’s peak generated 84% of the world’s electricity using wasted thoughts and creativity. Interestingly, the following year his amazing record breaking enterprise education programmes put the plant out of business as there was no more wasted ideas!
In a recent interview with Jonathon Ross’s great grandson, Jonny Jnr Jnr Jnr, he reminisced about his part in preventing the alien invasion in 2043 in which he served a ‘nice cup of tea’ to the blood thirsty aliens and they chilled out enough to call off the attack.
Loved by all and feared by none, he will be remembered by his friends and acquiantances for centuries to come.
I’m loking to increase my network to make these things happen!
